FIGMENT

summer-sun
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Wow, she is so beautiful. I cannot take my eyes off of her. I know I shouldn’t stare but I cannot help myself, the way she looks the way she dresses, it draws my very soul toward her.  I know that although she would look stunning in an evening dress she is more comfortable in old jeans and a shirt with converse.

She carries herself in subtle ways, she isn’t a catwalk model although in my eyes she could be. She doesn’t prance around looking to be noticed and full of attitude, at the same time she isn’t a tomboy but a happy medium, fully embracing her femininity and yet relaxed and comfortable as she is.

She is as much at home at a party as to spending time alone with her man and my imagination runs away as I sit and look at her laying in the short grass on a warm summer evening her long, dark hair pulled by the breeze as she looks across to me. I feel such a strong attraction to her that I cannot find the words, all I know is that I was meant to be with her, she was my one.

She smiles, a genuine smile of warmth and love, A wanting smile whereby I know that she wants me and she would know that I want her. She is however but a figment of my imagination; surely imperfect perfection like this doesn’t exist for real. least not how I see her in my mind’s eye, a carefree woman who has a beauty that radiates from her, not necessarily by her looks but by who she is and how she conducts herself.

My mind sees her as having dark hair, long, with a fringe, slim and athletic, small breasts, dark beautiful eyes that you could get lost in, eyes that show her every emotion and are bright and clear, minimal makeup (if any) smooth complexion, she has that way about her that is more natural than fabricated. She is natural and un-fake in every possible way, gorgeous; I want her, I want to love her and for her to love me, I want to be in love, properly, real love, not this fake bullshit where you’re never 100% sure.

Her want for me would be enough, it would drive me every day, I would have her on my mind all the time, sitting there, weaving into my very being, we would be passionate with each other, not just with sex, but with everything, music, romance, cooking… life, I could hold her in my arms and shed tears and yet she would not mock me, she would genuinely be my lover and yet my best friend all at the same time, my soul mate. I would feel those butterflies in my belly and heart every time I saw her and feel that ache every time she was away.

Are you not supposed to feel this deeply for someone, is it all supposed to be so contrived like 99% of these celebrity relationships? Surely there should be no phobia about me kissing her and looking her in the eyes and saying I love you and meaning it, wanting it, needing it. But she is only there in my head when the music plays, when the volume increases and I entwine myself around the music in the track and it sings to me.

But not today, today I sit back alone on the park bench, the orange sun setting in the horizon, I look over to where two lovers cuddle on the grass, no one turns to face me. I shake my head as if to clear it and make my way back to my flat… maybe tomorrow.

Do you get anything from this picture? Is it just a bit meh for you or do you find something rich and interesting in it? Please share your thoughts either way.

Moi…

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